Monday, December 21, 2009

reach out and connect with someone


While I was out on my run the other day, letting thoughts and feelings course through me, as they usually do while I exercise, a memory floated into my consciousness. A memory of an experience I'd had three years prior, close to this time of year. Just remembering this experience brought warmth to my heart, and I wanted to share it here with you. I wrote about it on my personal blog at the time, and I'd like to share an excerpt of that blog post with you.

It was December of 2006. I was in upstate NY, visiting my in-laws for Christmas. A couple of days after Christmas, I took the train to Manhattan to go meet up with a few friends, and I spent a beautiful day in the city. The warmth and feeling of connection with my friends that day still feeds me now.

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On the train ride home, I found a seat to myself. At the first stop, a rather veloptuous lady got on the train and sat down next to me. My initial thought was to feel bummed that my space was being crowded. In fact, I almost felt a bit claustrophobic. I decided to shift my thought pattern, and, instead of feeling resistance and separation, chose to feel a connection to the person next to me. What really inspired me to do so and gave me that little extra push was a line I read in my book (Awaken The Giant Within, by Anthony Robbins) at that very moment. I'd just been reading a paragraph on loneliness. The last line of the paragraph read:

Take immediate action to reach out and connect with someone.

I sat there for a few minutes, slouched into my seat, and a bit resistant to break the invisible barrier between us. Usually, the way I strike up a conversation with a stranger is by seeking out eye contact first and then addressing them. Since this lady was sitting right next to me, there was no opportunity for our eyes to casually meet, as I would have had to turn and look straight at her. She was reading a book. I gathered my nerve, sat up straight in my seat and said to the lady: 'Is that a good book you're reading?' That started a 1 1/2-hour conversation that lasted the entire train ride home! She turned out to be quite a fascinating lady who had travelled to Ghana, contracted Malaria, lost a daughter... I talked a bit, but mostly listened to her. She told me much about her life, her family, her travels... It was neat. I was so glad I'd broken out of my comfort zone and opened myself up to making a connection. If we just are willing to open our hearts a little more, we can see that we are not seperate from the world. Instead of making assumptions about the people sitting next to us on a train, standing behind us in line at the check-out counter, or waiting next to us in the doctor's office, if we just reach out and give them the chance to open themselves up to us, we will discover a great deal of compassion for them and the world as a whole - and, thereby, compassion for ourselves, as well!

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Remembering this interaction during my run the other day brought me great joy. It got me to thinking how amazing one little gesture can be and just what a difference it can make in our lives and the lives of others. Three years later, I am still filled with warmth at the thought of this experience! I have no idea how much it touched the lady who I talked to on the train, but, chances are, the joy of this simple but beautiful connection continued to seep into the cracks of her life well after the fact, as it did for me.

I hope this story serves as an inspiration for you to reach out and connect with others. Be it in line at the post office, at the grocery store, on the bus or a plane... Take immediate action to reach out and connect with someone. And remember to pay attention to the little signs that show up in your life - like a line you're reading in your book at a crucial moment ;), or a song playing on the radio, or a billboard ad that says something of meaning to you.

May your holiday season be filled with lots of heart-warming connections and joy!

2 comments:

Santa Cruz Optimal Health and Fitness said...

Right on, Angie!

Alys said...

Just lovely, Angie and such an amazing reflection of you. I traveled alone through Europe in 1989 and found this to be true again and again. The world is full of fascinating people, right under our noses. We've only to make the slightest gesture in their direction; the returns are unbelievable.